I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
