That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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