He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
