do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
