I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
