They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm both gender and math confused
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize