All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
they're like a gay fantastic four
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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