What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
