I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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