You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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