Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize