I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
