its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the day after is always just damage control
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
a search helicopter?!
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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