how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
