Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
