just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
