The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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