We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
