It's Friday. Sex?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
