What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
