I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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