at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So much rum. So many feels.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
