Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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