I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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