My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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