Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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