Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
