You smell like a Billy Joel song
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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