Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
