***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
