I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
