I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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