Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
