He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize