Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
