He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
