So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
