Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
All I want is dick and wine.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
