standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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