He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
