I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I love having hate sex.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
