So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
