There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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