yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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