Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
They have beer where we have blood.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
