Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
