You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I believe in your delicious
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
