According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
