the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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