i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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