she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize