we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
