Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
