I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
