WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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