he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
