I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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