Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
