Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
