I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
