oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
