Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
