the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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