i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
