we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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