Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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