I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize