people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
