And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
