why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize