i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
