Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
