overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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